From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize