Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
