But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
