Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
