I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
