Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
