If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
