so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
