brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
In America we eat man semen.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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