He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
