i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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