I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
