nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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