so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
