guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
