I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
