your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
