I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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