I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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