is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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