the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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