i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
