Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
