i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
