I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
