no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
