She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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