I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
