I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
