Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
