I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize