I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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