Sry I called you an 8
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
