Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize