im drinking this country out of the recession.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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