Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize