don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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