the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
