Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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