TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
