He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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