How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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