the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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