Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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