i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
