He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The power of my boobs compel you
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
