dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
