he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
