I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
