You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
