Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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