i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You took a bar mat shot.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
