Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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