We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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