I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
