and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
