we have officially lost it.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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