I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
