thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
