you have to choose: penises or morals?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
