I wanna bring you to show and tell
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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