OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
