Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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