can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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