I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
it hurts more in the daytime
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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