im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
