I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
