if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
