I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
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