If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
