he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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