And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
