I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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