Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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