I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think I sprained my soul last night
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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