so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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